Vagina Jamz '09

First, I just want to say I respect your post and I agree with pretty much everything you said. Why do I not care? Basically you explained why my team could potentially suck. Like anyone else I could get burned by injuries, my young players could not pan out, etc. This is a risk I am willing to take. It is a proven strategy. High Risk, High Reward. Go big or go home. No fat chicks. We've heard all the cliches.

My turn to burn your team:

Has anyone seen the Sports Illustrated with Albert Pujols on the cover? He looks like a twig. HE has lost alot of his muscle weight no doubt. Check it out:



EXHIBIT A

Now check this out:



EXHIBIT B

He looks like bonds. In my opinion he did ROIDS of some sort and has stopped. I mean everyone thought A-Rod was clean too right. I feel like if he stops doing roids his production will fall off. I HATE HIM. His hair is falling out as the result of roids. His balls are the size of marbles and he ain't got no marbles! I know that doesn't make sense, I just hate Pujols.

HIs team consists of Randy Johnson, Jermaine Dye, Chipper Jones, and J.D. Drew

Where the hell is Jamie Moyer? When I look at your team I feel like I should be listening to Tone Loc and wearing a Zach Morris Turquoise T-shirt.


I do respect your young bench however, you are setup if these old timers go down you have cruz, and andrus to step in which I do like alot. I wanted both of those guys.

The rest of the hitting bores me, very bland, average, mediocre, nothing special, you know the same phrases you hear about your penis on a regular basis.

You have 1 pitcher: Roy Halladay.

The rest of your pitching is super inconsistent. The odds of 4 starters, Cueto, Beckett, Billingsly, Perez having great years is slim to none. As they say 2 out of 3ain't bad. So if 3 of 4 of these guys can have a 15 win+ seasson you will possibly be able to compete with me.

Why Steve's Team Will Suck Ass

Thank you, crazy, for some rather insightful commentary on your power rankings. I think your characterization of my team was quite accurate; I will be dangerous while my hitters are healthy; hopefully their replacements will not have to be used much. However, I will strongly disagree with your assessment of the team of one Steven True. My argument rests on a few central issues:

1) Steve's hitters, while certainly the team's strength, are overrated. His team's stats look good with Ryan Ludwick's 37 HR...just like Brady Anderson's team looked good with his fluke 50 HR year. You know how many he hit the year after that? 18. Guys who magically hit 37 HR at 30 years old are not exactly expected to repeat their success. Furcal will not hit .357 for a whole season. The infield is strong, but who's going to fill in when Milton's hurt? Pacman Jones? The AAA-all star Jeff Francoeur? KOSUKE?!?!?! The outfield is not even replacement level quality.

2) He cant steal any bases. An aging Furcal provides his only real 30+ steal potential, and only 3 guys on his team can really be projected for 10+. Thats one category he's losin every week unless he puts in strikeout machine Rickie Weeks as UTIL.

3) Steve's pitching is HORRENDOUS and EXTREMELY high variance. It could all work out perfectly; Steve could also satisfy a woman, but both of these things are very very unlikely. His guys who are all names and no actual bankable long term production. Roy Oswalt tailed off strongly last season; look at his K/9. Little guys like him don't have great long term prospects once they get to his age. Liriano was great last season, while he was pitching, but again, young dudes off major elbow surgeries occasionally get reinjured (Mark Prior comes to mind). Gallardo's injuries were not arm related, but he's far from proven. Carpenter is almost certain to break down. So essentially he is all huge risk/reward on one half of his roster. Will Scherzer pan out? After his great starts he tanked and moved to the pen. He's had shoulder issues the last couple years. Total neglect of one side of the roster is pretty much what you'd expect from a shortsighted man like Steve.

4) The team is run by Steve. His excessive pride from his last two victories in the league that no one cared about will ruin him. Now that the rest of us care about the league, I expect Steve to wallow in the dungeon of the far superior National League. Now if he were in the AL, its entirely possible he'd actually live up to his own hype. Since that isnt the case, we will be able to watch him crash and burn this season.

Seeing if this works

Just seeing if I can post on here.....

Crazy's No Mercy FBL Power Rankings...

12. Wait Til Next Year
11. Bloomington Beers
10. Carlos "White Castle" Marmol
9. Traspadeez Nutz
8. Howhorekam Snatchsluggers
7. Boner Jamz '03
6. Team Hedlin
5. Andre Dawsons Creek
4. Honey Nut Ichiros
3. Batterbing Batterboom
2. Your Fuckin Out I'm Fukin In
1. Turd Ferguson


12. Wait Til Next Year
The Incredible Hulka has sure done it. Jorge Posada is done. Adrian Gonzalez plays in Petco. Aviles and Theriot are iffy at their positions - Big Pappi might have lost a little bat speed and besides Johan the pitching staff is a question mark. Dempster should have a decent year but last year was the career year. Those 2 kats from MN pitchin don't strike any fear in me as well.

11. Bloomington Beers
Mauer is hurt, Pena, Polanco, Huff, Peralta round up the worst infield in the leauge (right behind myself). While CC and Lincecum are studs you gotta worry about CC's workload and Bedard and Wang are a little overratted.

10. Carlos "White Castle" Marmol
While I think this lineup can rake with the best of them - all these goddamn RP's don't make any sense to me. Santana and Kazmir are nice at the top of the rotation - but these RP's are blowing my mind.

9. Traspadeez Nutz
While Miggy and Webb can be the MVP and CY Young's of the AL and NL respectively there is a lot of question marks with this pitching staff. 2 Mariners + 1 Marlins starting rotation = 0% chance of winning the wins category in any given week. Atkins and M. Young are on the decline and C. Young and C. Jackson don't excite this guy.

8. Howhorekam Snatchsluggers
Mike Mussina - a pick I won't forget - the worst of the draft. Sizemore and Berkman are a great duo to have but the pitching staff leaves me wondering what was going on. AROD out for at least a month, Tulowitski's injury prone, Victorino, Ibanez and Thome are nothing outstanding. Alexei is that real interesting guy I personally had an eye for and if he can produce than this team will scrape together some wins in the second half of the year.

7. Boner Jamz '03
This team can be pretty dangerous but looks a little injury prone. The health of Chipper Jones, Dye, Beckett and Kerry Wood will be a concern all year. IF those guys can stay healthy this team might have championship written all over it. Pujols, Kinsler, Halladay and Billingsley are what this team is about but Hawpe, Werth, Rios is a major concern for me. John Baker hasn't impressed me but J.J. Hardy is significantly underratted for fantasy purposes. I'd watch out for this team.

6. Team Hedlin
Wieters and Kershaw are a year away from fantasy stardom. Jeter, Derosa, Nady, McClouth and Holliday all have question marks surrounding them. Jeter going to contribute? Derosa backin up a career year? Nady in NY? McClouth breakout year follow up? Holliday moving away from Coors? This team leaves me intrigued but I think it's a borderline playoff team assuming the pitching staff stays healthy.

5. Andre Dawsons Creek
Leon really came to draft. His team is littered with recent MVP's - Morneau, Pedroia and J-Ro will be a force. And despite the whispers I heard Dice-K, AJ, Lilly and Kuroda is quiety quite a nice little staff - not to mention Lidge never blowing a save. The OF is the main question mark here but that great infield and formidable pitchin staff will give teams some trouble.

4. Honey Nut Ichiros
Now you might say I'm biased because I commish the league and I make these rankings but lets look at the facts. Hamels, Peavy, Harden, Volquez, K-Rod, Nolasco, Danks, Meche and Buerhle is hands down the best pitching staff in the league - I expect to win 3/4 pitchin categories easily on a weekly basis. Utley, El Caballo, and Quentin though coming off injuries are the real deal. As is Joey Votto. Zimmerman and Lowrie have upside but how much is uncertain. The lineup lacks strong name recognition but could quietly have a nice season. Bench is not very good at all though and even slight injury problems can be devastating to this squad.

3. Batterbing Batterboom
Longoria, Reyes, Manny are SCARY. Delgado's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde trick leaves me uncertain about his upcoming season. Zambrano, Joba and Matt Cain can make or break weeks at a time. This team is pretty well protected by injuries bolstering one of the better if not the best benches in the league.

2. Your Fuckin Out I'm Fuckin In
Steve's passion for a 3-peat and his ability to scour the waivers on an hourly basis lead me to believe he wants this bad. Upton, Bradley and Ankiel are questionable in the outfield and the Fukudome / Pie backups are essentially worthless. There's enough help with one of the better infields, young pitching upside and the vastly underratted Ryan Ludwick to make you think you might be seeing Steven at the top of the leaderboards this year.

1. Turd Ferguson
The man with 3 first names who I don't know has assembled the best team here. If you think that you have a chance to win SB's against this guy - forget it. Having the best player in the game certainly helps this ranking. There isn't a guy in his lineup I wouldn't mind having - maybe I'm biased with Lee and Ramirez. Lee, Lester and Price are devastating pitchers (assuming Price is called up by May), not to mention Duchscherer helping out when not injured or getting out of the bullpen. I expcect this team to start off a little slow but there is a lot of power and speed to like with this team and the key will be if Aaron Harang can return to 2007 form you can crown Turd Ferguson's ass.

Welcome...

I will try to do my best Gizz impersonation sooooo after the draft has commenced there will be power rankings and smug comments posted on here... feel free to join in.

Stay tuned for more...