Why Steve's Team Will Suck Ass

Thank you, crazy, for some rather insightful commentary on your power rankings. I think your characterization of my team was quite accurate; I will be dangerous while my hitters are healthy; hopefully their replacements will not have to be used much. However, I will strongly disagree with your assessment of the team of one Steven True. My argument rests on a few central issues:

1) Steve's hitters, while certainly the team's strength, are overrated. His team's stats look good with Ryan Ludwick's 37 HR...just like Brady Anderson's team looked good with his fluke 50 HR year. You know how many he hit the year after that? 18. Guys who magically hit 37 HR at 30 years old are not exactly expected to repeat their success. Furcal will not hit .357 for a whole season. The infield is strong, but who's going to fill in when Milton's hurt? Pacman Jones? The AAA-all star Jeff Francoeur? KOSUKE?!?!?! The outfield is not even replacement level quality.

2) He cant steal any bases. An aging Furcal provides his only real 30+ steal potential, and only 3 guys on his team can really be projected for 10+. Thats one category he's losin every week unless he puts in strikeout machine Rickie Weeks as UTIL.

3) Steve's pitching is HORRENDOUS and EXTREMELY high variance. It could all work out perfectly; Steve could also satisfy a woman, but both of these things are very very unlikely. His guys who are all names and no actual bankable long term production. Roy Oswalt tailed off strongly last season; look at his K/9. Little guys like him don't have great long term prospects once they get to his age. Liriano was great last season, while he was pitching, but again, young dudes off major elbow surgeries occasionally get reinjured (Mark Prior comes to mind). Gallardo's injuries were not arm related, but he's far from proven. Carpenter is almost certain to break down. So essentially he is all huge risk/reward on one half of his roster. Will Scherzer pan out? After his great starts he tanked and moved to the pen. He's had shoulder issues the last couple years. Total neglect of one side of the roster is pretty much what you'd expect from a shortsighted man like Steve.

4) The team is run by Steve. His excessive pride from his last two victories in the league that no one cared about will ruin him. Now that the rest of us care about the league, I expect Steve to wallow in the dungeon of the far superior National League. Now if he were in the AL, its entirely possible he'd actually live up to his own hype. Since that isnt the case, we will be able to watch him crash and burn this season.