Wait Till Next Year...

Ok so we are just about done with Year 1 of Crazy's No Mercy Fantasy Baseball League. Overall, it was OK but I think it lacked in a few areas... I might not have been the greatest commish but it's like the 1st version of everything the I-Phone, Pontiac G-6, etc... it just needs a lot of adjustments.

So I'm here to tell you on September 9th with the next draft being over 6 months away that I have decided to completely overhaul the scoring and playoff system. I am in a league that I thought would be stupid at the beginning because I have never heard of a pts system for baseball (scoring similar to fantasy football) and I wasn't too interested in it. Having a traditional 5x5 league is okay but I am not a big fan of all these ties and I wouldn't want to make odd categories because of the dependence on offense vs. pitching nor would I want to dillute the most important stats by adding more categories (like another crappy college league i'm in).

Waivers, scoring, playoff suggestions have all been considered and this is what I have come up with...

DRAFT
*This is completely open on my part - I would like to do an in person draft, it is tough to find a day that fits everyones schedule but if we set a date at the beginning of the year it might be possible to do. I am open on style of draft as well... I like the snake style draft but I have had some fun doing auctions... that I would leave up to a league vote.

SCORING
*Too many ties! I have been in a pts league for a few years and it is waaaaaaay better than rotisserie or traditional categories. Still like the Weekly H2H Scoring System That is Still in Place. The scoring works as follows...

Batting
Single 1pt
Double 2pt
Triple 3pt
HR 4pt
BB 1pt
Run 1pt
SB 1pt
RBI 1pt
Strikeouts -1pt
Hitting for the Cycle 20pt

Pitching
Inn Pitched 1pt
Earned Run -1pt
Wins 10pt
Saves 5pt
Quality Start 3pt
Walks -1pt
K's 1pt
Losses -2pt
Blown Save -2pt
Shutouts 10pt
No-Hitter 10pt

To give you an idea so far this year here are the top 5 in each category:

Batting
Pujols 661pt
Fielder 492pt
Teixera 471pt
Hanley 456pt
AGonz 450pt

Pitching
Lincecum 562pt
Greinke 551pt
Verlander 533pt
King Felix 501pt
Dan Haren 497pt

Typical weeks range from an average of 200-250pts per team per week. Very similar scoring to Fantasy Football. You start 9 guys, 4 SP and 1CP.

Entry Fee / Playoffs / Payout

This really is a pain in the butt to collect waiver fees and everyone generally spends between $10-$30 for waiver pickups so I suggest adding a general "fee" into the entry fee that will allow unlimited waivers while also adding other ways to make your money back.

Entry Fee: $125

12 team format with no divisions/leagues. The 4 best teams with the best record will be in the playoffs. 22 weeks giving everyone a chance to play everyone twice. The playoffs will be 2 rounds of 2 weeks each. (Note that this will take the playoffs until the very end of the regular season so there might be some teams that will sit some players but that will happen on both sides and you will have 2 full weeks to win (you will also have a chance to reset your roster after week 1 of each rd)).

Payouts

1st place - $525
2nd place - $250
3rd place - $125

Total Pts (Overall)
$250
Total Pts (2nd place *not that not always will this be the 1st and 2nd place teams but is generally in the top 4)
$125

Highest 1 Week Total
$125

Consolation Bracket Champion
$100

So either way... the top 4 teams make the playoffs, you can win your money back by having a good regular season, a really good week or almost make your money back by beating all the losers so you're not completely out of it.

I find this system the best way to go about next year and I look forward to all of your input.

Thank you for a good year, lets make the next one great...

~Commish Crazy

My Playoff Rant

OK. I give you props Crazy. All in all this was a great league and its been a fun year. But now this is my time to rant.

The playoff system is fucked up.

The sole purpose of National League and American League is to determine who gets a by in the first week of playoffs. This is fucked up.

4 teams from the American League and 2 teams from the National League made the playoffs. Why is this inconsistent? If there are going to be two divisions then the top 3 teams from each division should make the playoffs. The championship then should be the National League Vs American League. This is fucked up.

But this is not so. Steve the leader in the National League and THIRD overall gets the by. Thus, leaving me, SECOND overall, fucked in the playoffs. This is fucked up.

Why I am upset is that I should of had the by. Instead I got screwed and got the 3rd seed. To top it off because of Labor Day, I was unable to set my roster on Monday. I will lose this week to Hulka who I am not sure if he even knows he is in the playoffs because he was 4th in our division. This is fucked up.

End of Rant.

Changes (suggestions) for next year (Feel free to add)

1. No divisions. Top 6 teams with the best record should make the playoffs. Top two teams should get a by.

2. Live Auction Draft. Did this for football for the first time this year. Good times.

3. Playoffs should not start on Labor Day. I did not get a chance to set my roster on Monday because I was out of town. (I realize this was probably a coincidence and nothing can be done to fix)

4. Commissioner collects waiver money and pays out after playoffs. (I agree with Steve on this one)

As always, I leave you with a beautiful woman.

The Dawg Days of Summa...

Well August is here, some peoples fantasy teams have takin a beatin such as mine but instead of posting a picture of Podsednik's wife I decided to change things up.

Want to get some Cubs ideas of possible moves (through waivers) and things that need to happen:

1. Kevin Gregg should not be the closer - problem is we do not have a reliable backup. Marmol still can't throw strikes. The move should've been to get George Sherill from Bal like the Dodgers did for next to nothing. Personally, I wouldn't mind seeing Guzman but the change to Marmol has gotta be done - he might find it in that closers role.

2. Jake Fox getting daily at bats - this guy is a game changer - he's a chubby Derosa whose defense is far worse. Now I will admit that I was part of the D-Lee hater crew in April/May but I never got behind Hoffpauir. This guy needs to play everyday, Aramis/Soriano/Bradley/Lee should all get at least 1 day off a week. I'm confused why Lou didn't let him catch for Koyie, with Soto back on Fri I doubt that will happen.

3. Jeff Baker - needs to just pack his shit and head for Des Moines. I'm not quite sure why this move was made - he's not good offensively and his defense is not as good as Blanco's - there is only room for 1 shitty back up 2nd baseman - might as well take the glove.

4. Get Mark Teahen - another shitty versatile player - just get this guy - don't care if Milton's OBP is over .400 - unless he wants to stay in the middle of the order - he's gotta start hittin dongs. Milton needs to permanently become a right handed hitter.

5. There's nothing that requires money or is unrealistic - really nothing needs to be changed with the pitching staff for the most part - the lineup is solid with Aramis in the lineup and Soto still might turn things around.

6. Lou's gotta stop thinking he's Tony La Russa - yeah its entertaining to see these wild double switchers, lefty/righty matchups but cut the shit - just play straight up, give fontenot and hoffpauir some lefty at bats and keep Sori in the 6th hole. Get out there and make a scene at least once this year, pitch your hot hands in the playoffs.

7. Don't fuck Lilly out of another playoff start - he starts Game 1 NLDS for me

Your thoughts...

Only at Wrigley

Why cubs fans get a bad name.... What a Douche.

The Winner!!

So since no one post here any more and I don't really want to see a 300 lb raver I thought I would post the winner of the hottest wife contest.....Andy Roddick.

May I introduce Brooklyn Decker.

My Personal Favorite....Marisa Miller

Friday Boobs

Just thought we should get the weekend started out right with a little Cubbies and a little T&A.

Fire Sale

Enjoy Steve.....

Ok, so we are give or take 1/3 of the way through the season and the Sluggers of Snatch are looking to wind up at 1-9-1. For this reason, to salvage what's left of this season, I need to shake things up with my team and for this reason the entire team is for sale. I am looking to dump my top players (Ibanez, Berkman, Lowe, Lackey and the like) for more underachieving, injured, etc. players. A-Rod and Sizemore are my sole core of my team that I am keeping. The rest of these assholes I hope to be rid of by July, especially my garbage pitchers.

I know I have probably sent out a trade to almost every one of you at least once this year, so you know I won't pansy out of a deal. And please don't be sending out bullshit trades that bore me. I need to do something to make up for the piss-poor deal of Verlander/X-Ram for Oswalt/Wrist-less Weeks (who I got a whole 3 games out of). If you haven't noticed, I'm falling apart on a weekly basis.......

Does fantasy football start yet, apparently you can't succeed after waking up in the middle of the third round of fantasy baseball....godamn it. BTW, bold prediction for you Mugica, your team is playing out of their minds, I doubt you find the top 5 at the end of the year. And Bill, you have like 2/3 minor leaguers on your team currently.....that were not there to start the year......

Oh, and Jeff Garcia's wife, easily the most smokin of them all.

Volleyball

Hedlin - this guy can give you HJ's from both hands...

So everybody knows about this Strasberg guy but what you might not know is there is a ridiculous relief pitcher in the Yankee's system that will probably get the call only because the Yankee's bullpen sucks and in over a year in their system has only given up 5 ER's.

He's still in A baseball but the guy pitches from both sides of the rubber (the first real ambidextrous pitcher). Pat Venditte - get to know him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8U2xkHOTvvw&feature=fvw

Minor Leagues:
54Gms, 59.2Inn, 80K's, 12BB's, 0.75ERA, 0.737WHIP

Outfielder for Sale!

My team is on the rise and I have found myself with too many quality outfielders. Interesting trades and offers accepted. (Cash or HJ's from your Mom, Sister or GF will be considered)

(Ranked in no specific order)

1. Ryan Braun - Best Jew in baseball. 12 HRs, 38 RBIs, .310 AVG thus far. You better be offering something good. By good, it better include an HJ or two.

2. Nate McLouth - Recently traded to the Braves, already started to breakout with his new team. 10 HRs, 36 RBIs, 9 SBs in 2009

3. Michael Bourn - Having his breakout year. Batting .300 with 19 SBs

4. Matt Holiday - Ready to be traded any day now. You know Billy Bean is going to send him to a contender. No chance he'll hold on to his contract. He'll finish with 25 Hrs 100 RBI's and .300+ AVG.

5. Andrew McCutchen - High Risk. High reward. Already posting .400 Avg, 5 RBIs, and a SB in just 25 AB's. The new face of the Pirates and sure to become a Cub Killer.

5. Xavier Nady - Also High Risk, High Reward - Coming off the DL in the next week or so. He is already tearing it up in the minors with his bat. (Now if only he could throw the ball)

Need Pitching? Also for Sale:

Clayton Kershaw

Rick Porcello

Andy Sonnanstine

Jarrod Washburn

Matt Lindstrom

Let the offers start rolling in!

I leave you with everyones favorite poll vaulter... Alisson Stokke

If only this league were Rotisserie scoring...

Ok everyone if your current record is .500 or better I calculated what your score and rank would be right now if we were doing this league like you should for baseball leagues, classic Rotisserie. Here are the rankings as follows:

1. Mugica (Boner Jamz' 03) 93 points - Current record 7-2 2nd Place
T-2. Steve (Im Fuckin in your Fuckin Out) 75 points - Current Record 5-4 7th Place
T-2. Zach (Bloomington Beers) 75 points - Current Record 4-4-1 8th Place
4. Blake (Team Hedlin) 74 Points - Current Record 5-3-1 4th Place
5. Leon (Andre Dawson's Creek)65 points Current Record 7-1-1 1st Place
6. Crazy (Honey Nut Ichiros) 64 Points Current Record 4-3-2 6th Place
T-7. Hulka (wait til next year) 63 Points Current Record 5-2-2 3rd Place
T-7. Bill (Traspeedeez nits) 63 points Current Record 4-3-2 5th Place



So what does this tell us. Matchups suck. Myself and Zach have gotten screwed. Mugica's team is the team to beat by a long shot. Blake is consistent. Hulka has gotten lucky. The Divisions are pretty equal. The American League is backwards the top two should be below the next two.

Make your own assessments.

These are very I didn't factor in ties and .5 points.

Everyone else may god have mercy on your souls.

Why doesn't anyone post on here anymore?

James Simon may have to make a re-appearance.

Chris Cooley's GF

I think Chris Cooley's Girlfriend needs to be taken into consideration.

for the sake of efficiency

Can we just give me the title right now and avoid the formality of playing the remainder of the season? I'm getting tired of winning 9-0-1.

A Classic...

Pretty sure the Rangers just signed Kris Benson just incase he cheats... "While her husband Kris played for the Mets, she would go on the Howard Stern show and state that she would sleep with the whole Mets’ organization if she ever found out that Kris was having an affair." - 2004

Hottest Sports Wife

Jeff Garcia, no contest.

6-0

Zach Greinke's girlfriend is way hotter. Oh, and hes 6-0, .40 ERA, .84 WHIP... now that's hot.

5-0

Sorry it's not too revealing but Buerhle likes to keep his wifes tits on the d/l. Remember when you coulda had this sonofabitch for a decent/shitty SS - suckers...

Batter Bing Batter Fucked

It's just Manny being Manny makes it 7 players on this team either on the DL or suspended for 50 games.

Getting the image of James Simon off the blog's homepage when I access it.

This Blog has become the exact opposite of this blog:

http://cubscuties.blogspot.com/2008/08/cubs-sweep-pirates-and-we-have-hotter.html

I am just trying to steer it back in the right direction.

Enough

Batter Bing Batter Lucky

I was up at least 8 often times 9 to nothing all week. All the sudden Mr. Anderson pulls out a tie.


Mr. Mugica and his Boner Jamz won't be so lucky next week.

Let's revisit Crazy's incompetent preseason rankings:
1. Turd Ferguson (0-3-1)
2. Your Fuckin Out I'm Fuckin In (1-3)
3. Batterbing Batterboom (1-2-1)

Looks like Crazy's 8 hours of research into the power rankings were well spent.

Incompetence will not be tolerated...

So I was proposed a trade in another ESPN league where I would receive Brad Hawpe and Javy Vasquez for Jermaine Dye... not a blockbuster but then he gets on the league website after Javy throws a decent (didn't throw a no-hitter or anything) game. Complaining that this trade was an accident and that everybody needs to veto the trade so I wake up here in Phoenix, AZ to set my lineup and find a Javy-less lineup and I thought you might enjoy my league post...

Fuck you K B Rat Batsters
Posted: Apr 26, 4:15 PM
So I'm just sittin here in Phoenix, AZ looking to set my lineup for next week but what do I find except for a vetoed trade. Jermaine Dye and Brad Hawpe are not equal and you proposed the trade! It's pretty hard to select the fuckin player and lets just lay this out there.... Either somebody told you it was a dumb trade (assuming your cousin Larry) or you got scared when Javy threw a "masterful" game, pffffff. The trade was even and helped both teams - I don't care about that but you fuckin proposed the trade. You wasted my fucking time as the trade was sitting there for 2 days before I accepted it. This league is bullshit as it is way too pitching heavy and I have no patience for fucking time wasters and incompetence such as shitty Sox fans like K B Rat Batsters shows in this gay league. Do NOT propose me any more trades as you wasted my fuckin time - so take your Paul Maholm and shove him up your ass - I don't want him. I hope you, Brad Hawpe and Javy Vasquez get AIDS....

Matt Kemp beats Steven

With 2 home runs on Sunday, Matt Kemp single-handedly beat Steven.

The Ole' Best Damn Baseball Injuries...

Charlie Hough broke his pinky finger while shaking hands.

Mickey Tettleton went on the DL with a severe case of athlete's foot - caused by tying his shoes too tight.

Jose Cardenal missed a game in 1972 because he was kept awake all night by crickets chirping in his hotel room.

Jose Cardenal missed a game in 1974, because he couldn't blink. He swore his eyes were stuck open.

Bob Feller scalded himself with 200-degree water after he lost control of the hose in a whirlpool. He scalded himself from the waste down, and couldn't do anything for a week.

Russ Davis missed a game after he slept wrong and awoke with a sore shoulder.

David Cone missed a start after getting bit by his mother-in-law's dog, a Jack Russell Terrier.

Sammy Sosa missed a game after sleeping wrong on his shoulder.

Jim Corsi slipped coming out of the shower and sprained his wrist. Corsi has poor eyesight, wasn't wearing contacts, and misjudged his step.

Bob Stanley missed a couple of games slipping down the stairs while taking out the trash.

Ken Griffey Jr. got a sore back lifting boxes.

Carlos Perez broke his nose in a car accident....as he was trying to pass the team bus.

Brian Anderson suffered nerve damage in his elbow after a cab ride.

Tony Gwynn missed a couple of games after he smashed his thumb in the door of his luxury car. While going to the bank.

Rickey Henderson missed several games because of frost- bite. In August.

Vince Coleman missed the 1985 World Series when he got rolled up in the tarp machine.

Pascual Perez missed a start in Atlanta when he circled the city for more than two hours searching for the exit ramp from Highway 285 to Fulton County Stadium.

Kevin Mitchell strained a muscle while vomiting.

Twins farmhand David Foster was knocked out for the season when a lightning strike through a phone line zapped him while he was making a call.

Pitcher Steve Foster injured his shoulder knocking over milk bottles during a segment with Jay Leno on "The Tonight Show."

Wade Boggs missed several games after straining his back while pulling on his cowboy boots.

Paul Molitor dislocated a knuckle when it got stuck in another player's glove.

Milwaukee's Dave Nilsson missed part of this season with Ross River Fever, a mosquito-borne virus that annually affects 200 out of Australia's 17 million residents.

Twins general manager Terry Ryan required dozens of stitches when he was scouting a game and a bat flew out of the hitter's hands, sailed through a space in the backstop and struck him in the forehead.

Pitcher Jeff Juden had a start early in the 1994 season pushed back after getting an infection from a tattoo.

Outfielder Bret Barberie missed a game when he accidentally rubbed chili juice in his eye.

Ken Griffey Jr. missed a game after his protective cup slipped and pinched a testicle.

Doc Gooden missed a start when Coleman accidentally hit him with a golf club in the Mets' clubhouse.

Mark Portugal missed a start because of food poisoning from eating bad mahi-mahi.

Pitcher Steve Sparks dislocated his shoulder while tearing a phone book in half, as he was trying to emulate a motivational speaker.

Reliever Larry Anderson strained a rib muscle getting out of a Jucuzzi.

Pitcher Ted Power pulled a hamstring jumping off the bullpen bench to join a brawl.

Kent Hrbek missed the final 10 games of the 1990 season when he sprained an ankle while wrestling with a clubhouse attendant.

Florida's Randy Veres hurt his hand pounding on a hotelroom wall trying to get the people in the next room to quiet down.

Dennis Martinez injured his arm tossing his luggage onto the team bus. He was diagnosed with Samsonitis.

Chris Brown missed a game with a strained eyelid after sleeping on an eye a funny way.

Former Seattle shortstop Rey Quinones was unavailable as a pinch-hitter because he was in the clubhouse playing Nintendo.

Terry Harper (Atlanta, OF) injured his shoulder after giving another player a high five.

Greg Harris (Texas, pitcher) injured his shoulder trying to flick sunflower seeds into the stands from the bullpen.

Baltimore's Mark Smith was hurt when he stuck his hand in an air conditioner to see why it wasn't working properly.

Glenallen Hill missed a few games after falling out of his bed while having an arachnophobic dream about spiders. He dreamt that spiders were devouring him, jumped off his bed, fell through a glass table, and crawled through the shards of glass.

Pay your respects...

Mr. Kallas has passed away... this man was one of the greats... and deserves some damn respect. His voice was legendary, his calls were silky, and the man was a class act.

He was given the option to have a Vin Scully schedule where he didn't have to make any trips and he said... "fuck that, baseball is played everyday, I'm going to call it everyday". He called the only 2 WS the Phillies have won, all of Mike Schmidts HR's and all of Chase Utley's legendary bombs while being well on his way to being the greatest 2B of all time.

Watching NFL Films makes the hair on your arms stand up - I know Gizz will take some time to reflect. Also, repects to Mark "The Bird" Fydrich - a legend of his own time... but that time was before me.

Wow, I Really Obliterated Steve Last Week

Ironically, the only category I lost was SB.

The main point remains. Steve is lucky last week only counted as one loss instead of eight, which is how many categories in which I whooped his ass.

And we will now be subjected to a stream of excuses from Steve. Let the verbal diarrhea begin.

Just a hunch....

I have on pretty good authority that I will be winning my matchup this week against the Bloomington Beers. Take this inside info and bet on it.

Lets go into depth on this issue:

Catchers:

Beers

Mauer-Min-Hurt and on the 15 day DL

White Castle

Napoli-LAA-Heard he was okay and I needed a catcher.

In this situation I clearly have the advantage...this week. And if the Beers gets on the ball and switches his lineup he will probably have the advantage in this category because he has Ivan the Terrible on the bench.

1st base:

Beers

Pena-Rays

White Castle

Teixeira-yanks

Really is there anything that I need to say on this one.

2nd base:

Beers:

Polanco-det

White Castle

Roberts-Bal

Does Detroit still have a team??? Really? Really? Roberts

3rd base:

Beers:
Huff-Bal
White Castle
Beltre-Sea.

Huff..hahahahahahahahaha and even if Beltre is hurt to start I have the young stud in Alex Gordon that I move there.

Shortstop:

Beers:
Peralta-cle

White Castle
Drew-Ari

It's a wash

Outfield:

Beers-

Suzuki-sea (hurt bleeding ulcer, probably from thinking about playing me this week in fantasy)

Markakis-Balt

Ordonez-Det (hasn't this dude retired yet)

White Castle

Soriano- (I did NOT want him, but he was the best available, GOD I HATE WHEN HE STRIKES OUT ON 3 STRAIGHT SLIDERS)

Pence-hou

Morales-LAA

I think I win this with Sori (lets hope for a hot streak) and Pence....Morales will be regarded as the best FA pickup this season.

Beers needs to reorganize his lineup because of Suzuki being hurt....either way I win.

Utility:

Beers-

Dunn-Nats

White Castle-

Gordon-KC

I give this to Beers. I have a love affair with Adam Dunn...Call is a man crush. He SHOULD be playing for the Cubs. He's awesome and no one can tell me differently.

Anyway......

I think I take Beers with a easy victory in the lineup department. Pitching is probably all his with CC and Lincecum. But his rotation lacks some depth there....Wang is just that a huge Wang and Bedard was a huge bust last year after his trade. I do like Soria kid but with my closer being Joe Nathan that would be easily my win there. I'll take the saves category and maybe I could sneak into the K's category with Kaz, Garza, and Meyers.

All this should equal to a 6-4 or a 7-3 win for Carlos "WHITE CASTLE" Marmol.

I decided to leave a picture of a wife of one of my fantasy players, my second baseman Brian Roberts, I like to introduce his wife Diana Chiafair.

Quit staring at my ass!

That’s right.  You will be trailing behind me the entire season.  Here is the breakdown of how and why I will dominate. 

Catcher – While we all wait and anticipate the debut of the future AL ROY Matt Wieters, Yadier Molina will suffice.  He is 26 with 4 years of experience and has improved season after season. You can expect him to rise to a top 10 catcher.  Trades will be considered upon Wieters arrival.

 1B – Ryan Howard.  What else do you want me to say?  50+ bombs 150+ RBIs 

2B – Mark DeRosa – You all know and love him.  The Indians will make a run at the AL Central. Batting in the two hole behind Sizemore, he will get plenty of RBI opportunities.  Coming off a career year, he has potential to do even better. 

3B – Kevin Youkilis – The Greek God of walks.  Sox will be in the running for the World Series. He bats for average and hits with power.  30 Bombs 100 + RBIs. 

SS - Derek Jeter – There is room for improvement on this front, but as for short stop goes, there’s not much out there.  But he does play on the Yankees and hits for average consistently. He will get me a little of everything.  

OF – Ryan Braun, Matt Holiday, Nate McClouth, and Xavier Nady – This is the best outfield in our league, if not second best.  Excluding Nady, they all have speed.  They all hit for power and will all produce runs. 

Starting Pitching – As goes with every team, as long as everyone stays healthy; I will make a run for leading our league in Wins and Strike Outs.  Dan Haren, Zack Greinke, Adam Wainwright and Clayton Kershaw.  I won’t have the lowest ERA and WHIP but you can expect middle of the bunch.  Each pitcher can be expected of 15+ wins.  They are all on solid teams and can expect a decent amount of run support.   

Even if Kershaw doesn’t have the stuff everyone hopes and dreams of, the starting pitching on my bench is solid.  Rick Porcello (You say who?)  is the number five guy in Detroit with Dontrelle Willis fading further into oblivion.   He has plenty of potential and has “been compared to Roy Halladay, Justin Verlander, Roy Oswalt and Josh Beckett.”  Come All Star Break, he may be starting on my team.  Andy Sonnanstine also has plenty of potential as 4^th starter on the Rays. We’ll see how he pans out. 

Closers - B.J. Ryan, Kevin Gregg, Frank Francisco, Joel Hanrahan, and Matt Lindstrom are all closing for their respective teams.  Here is what you call a stock pile.  Trades anyone? 

And lastly, for every post I make, I will leave you a hot piece of ass (as I expect every one of you to do the same).  Today (even though he is a douche bag), we get Tim Teabow’s girlfriend.  I think you can figure out why. (o) (o)

Vagina Jamz '09

First, I just want to say I respect your post and I agree with pretty much everything you said. Why do I not care? Basically you explained why my team could potentially suck. Like anyone else I could get burned by injuries, my young players could not pan out, etc. This is a risk I am willing to take. It is a proven strategy. High Risk, High Reward. Go big or go home. No fat chicks. We've heard all the cliches.

My turn to burn your team:

Has anyone seen the Sports Illustrated with Albert Pujols on the cover? He looks like a twig. HE has lost alot of his muscle weight no doubt. Check it out:



EXHIBIT A

Now check this out:



EXHIBIT B

He looks like bonds. In my opinion he did ROIDS of some sort and has stopped. I mean everyone thought A-Rod was clean too right. I feel like if he stops doing roids his production will fall off. I HATE HIM. His hair is falling out as the result of roids. His balls are the size of marbles and he ain't got no marbles! I know that doesn't make sense, I just hate Pujols.

HIs team consists of Randy Johnson, Jermaine Dye, Chipper Jones, and J.D. Drew

Where the hell is Jamie Moyer? When I look at your team I feel like I should be listening to Tone Loc and wearing a Zach Morris Turquoise T-shirt.


I do respect your young bench however, you are setup if these old timers go down you have cruz, and andrus to step in which I do like alot. I wanted both of those guys.

The rest of the hitting bores me, very bland, average, mediocre, nothing special, you know the same phrases you hear about your penis on a regular basis.

You have 1 pitcher: Roy Halladay.

The rest of your pitching is super inconsistent. The odds of 4 starters, Cueto, Beckett, Billingsly, Perez having great years is slim to none. As they say 2 out of 3ain't bad. So if 3 of 4 of these guys can have a 15 win+ seasson you will possibly be able to compete with me.

Why Steve's Team Will Suck Ass

Thank you, crazy, for some rather insightful commentary on your power rankings. I think your characterization of my team was quite accurate; I will be dangerous while my hitters are healthy; hopefully their replacements will not have to be used much. However, I will strongly disagree with your assessment of the team of one Steven True. My argument rests on a few central issues:

1) Steve's hitters, while certainly the team's strength, are overrated. His team's stats look good with Ryan Ludwick's 37 HR...just like Brady Anderson's team looked good with his fluke 50 HR year. You know how many he hit the year after that? 18. Guys who magically hit 37 HR at 30 years old are not exactly expected to repeat their success. Furcal will not hit .357 for a whole season. The infield is strong, but who's going to fill in when Milton's hurt? Pacman Jones? The AAA-all star Jeff Francoeur? KOSUKE?!?!?! The outfield is not even replacement level quality.

2) He cant steal any bases. An aging Furcal provides his only real 30+ steal potential, and only 3 guys on his team can really be projected for 10+. Thats one category he's losin every week unless he puts in strikeout machine Rickie Weeks as UTIL.

3) Steve's pitching is HORRENDOUS and EXTREMELY high variance. It could all work out perfectly; Steve could also satisfy a woman, but both of these things are very very unlikely. His guys who are all names and no actual bankable long term production. Roy Oswalt tailed off strongly last season; look at his K/9. Little guys like him don't have great long term prospects once they get to his age. Liriano was great last season, while he was pitching, but again, young dudes off major elbow surgeries occasionally get reinjured (Mark Prior comes to mind). Gallardo's injuries were not arm related, but he's far from proven. Carpenter is almost certain to break down. So essentially he is all huge risk/reward on one half of his roster. Will Scherzer pan out? After his great starts he tanked and moved to the pen. He's had shoulder issues the last couple years. Total neglect of one side of the roster is pretty much what you'd expect from a shortsighted man like Steve.

4) The team is run by Steve. His excessive pride from his last two victories in the league that no one cared about will ruin him. Now that the rest of us care about the league, I expect Steve to wallow in the dungeon of the far superior National League. Now if he were in the AL, its entirely possible he'd actually live up to his own hype. Since that isnt the case, we will be able to watch him crash and burn this season.

Seeing if this works

Just seeing if I can post on here.....

Crazy's No Mercy FBL Power Rankings...

12. Wait Til Next Year
11. Bloomington Beers
10. Carlos "White Castle" Marmol
9. Traspadeez Nutz
8. Howhorekam Snatchsluggers
7. Boner Jamz '03
6. Team Hedlin
5. Andre Dawsons Creek
4. Honey Nut Ichiros
3. Batterbing Batterboom
2. Your Fuckin Out I'm Fukin In
1. Turd Ferguson


12. Wait Til Next Year
The Incredible Hulka has sure done it. Jorge Posada is done. Adrian Gonzalez plays in Petco. Aviles and Theriot are iffy at their positions - Big Pappi might have lost a little bat speed and besides Johan the pitching staff is a question mark. Dempster should have a decent year but last year was the career year. Those 2 kats from MN pitchin don't strike any fear in me as well.

11. Bloomington Beers
Mauer is hurt, Pena, Polanco, Huff, Peralta round up the worst infield in the leauge (right behind myself). While CC and Lincecum are studs you gotta worry about CC's workload and Bedard and Wang are a little overratted.

10. Carlos "White Castle" Marmol
While I think this lineup can rake with the best of them - all these goddamn RP's don't make any sense to me. Santana and Kazmir are nice at the top of the rotation - but these RP's are blowing my mind.

9. Traspadeez Nutz
While Miggy and Webb can be the MVP and CY Young's of the AL and NL respectively there is a lot of question marks with this pitching staff. 2 Mariners + 1 Marlins starting rotation = 0% chance of winning the wins category in any given week. Atkins and M. Young are on the decline and C. Young and C. Jackson don't excite this guy.

8. Howhorekam Snatchsluggers
Mike Mussina - a pick I won't forget - the worst of the draft. Sizemore and Berkman are a great duo to have but the pitching staff leaves me wondering what was going on. AROD out for at least a month, Tulowitski's injury prone, Victorino, Ibanez and Thome are nothing outstanding. Alexei is that real interesting guy I personally had an eye for and if he can produce than this team will scrape together some wins in the second half of the year.

7. Boner Jamz '03
This team can be pretty dangerous but looks a little injury prone. The health of Chipper Jones, Dye, Beckett and Kerry Wood will be a concern all year. IF those guys can stay healthy this team might have championship written all over it. Pujols, Kinsler, Halladay and Billingsley are what this team is about but Hawpe, Werth, Rios is a major concern for me. John Baker hasn't impressed me but J.J. Hardy is significantly underratted for fantasy purposes. I'd watch out for this team.

6. Team Hedlin
Wieters and Kershaw are a year away from fantasy stardom. Jeter, Derosa, Nady, McClouth and Holliday all have question marks surrounding them. Jeter going to contribute? Derosa backin up a career year? Nady in NY? McClouth breakout year follow up? Holliday moving away from Coors? This team leaves me intrigued but I think it's a borderline playoff team assuming the pitching staff stays healthy.

5. Andre Dawsons Creek
Leon really came to draft. His team is littered with recent MVP's - Morneau, Pedroia and J-Ro will be a force. And despite the whispers I heard Dice-K, AJ, Lilly and Kuroda is quiety quite a nice little staff - not to mention Lidge never blowing a save. The OF is the main question mark here but that great infield and formidable pitchin staff will give teams some trouble.

4. Honey Nut Ichiros
Now you might say I'm biased because I commish the league and I make these rankings but lets look at the facts. Hamels, Peavy, Harden, Volquez, K-Rod, Nolasco, Danks, Meche and Buerhle is hands down the best pitching staff in the league - I expect to win 3/4 pitchin categories easily on a weekly basis. Utley, El Caballo, and Quentin though coming off injuries are the real deal. As is Joey Votto. Zimmerman and Lowrie have upside but how much is uncertain. The lineup lacks strong name recognition but could quietly have a nice season. Bench is not very good at all though and even slight injury problems can be devastating to this squad.

3. Batterbing Batterboom
Longoria, Reyes, Manny are SCARY. Delgado's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde trick leaves me uncertain about his upcoming season. Zambrano, Joba and Matt Cain can make or break weeks at a time. This team is pretty well protected by injuries bolstering one of the better if not the best benches in the league.

2. Your Fuckin Out I'm Fuckin In
Steve's passion for a 3-peat and his ability to scour the waivers on an hourly basis lead me to believe he wants this bad. Upton, Bradley and Ankiel are questionable in the outfield and the Fukudome / Pie backups are essentially worthless. There's enough help with one of the better infields, young pitching upside and the vastly underratted Ryan Ludwick to make you think you might be seeing Steven at the top of the leaderboards this year.

1. Turd Ferguson
The man with 3 first names who I don't know has assembled the best team here. If you think that you have a chance to win SB's against this guy - forget it. Having the best player in the game certainly helps this ranking. There isn't a guy in his lineup I wouldn't mind having - maybe I'm biased with Lee and Ramirez. Lee, Lester and Price are devastating pitchers (assuming Price is called up by May), not to mention Duchscherer helping out when not injured or getting out of the bullpen. I expcect this team to start off a little slow but there is a lot of power and speed to like with this team and the key will be if Aaron Harang can return to 2007 form you can crown Turd Ferguson's ass.

Welcome...

I will try to do my best Gizz impersonation sooooo after the draft has commenced there will be power rankings and smug comments posted on here... feel free to join in.

Stay tuned for more...